There is no order
I don´t know why everybody thinks that I´m a genius. According
to me I´m not a genius. Yesterday I told them: Listen ! I
am not a genius ! What kind of a genius I would be ? But they said:
One like this ! I told them: What kind of a genius then
? But they don`t tell what kind of a genius, they only say that
I`m a genius, a genius. According to me I am not a genius. Wherever I
appear, immediately everybody starts to whisper and to point at me with
their fingers. What is this all about, I say. But they don`t
let me say a word and before I can do something they grab me and carry
me on their hands.
Do you know the story of the miracle man,
who didn`t do any miracles ?
My mother gave birth to me and placed me in the water. I floated. Some
kind of a fish circled around me. I started crying. The fish also started
crying. Suddenly we saw that porridge was floating on the water on the
water. We ate the porridge and started to laugh. We felt very cheerful.
We floated downstream and met a large crayfish. He held an axe in his
claws. Behind the crayfish swam a naked frog.
Why are you naked all the time, the crayfish said,aren`t
you ashamed ?.There is nothing shameful about it, the
little frog answered. Why should we be ashamed of the good body
that nature gave us, when we are not ashamed of the bad actions which
we ouerselves do ?
What you say is right, said the crayfish, I don`t know
how to answer you. I suggest we ask a human being, because human beings
are more intelligent than we are. We are intelligent only in fables, which
human beings write about us, so that even there after all it is the human
being who is intelligent and not we.
But at this point the crayfish saw me and asked:Does one have to
be ashamed of one`s naked body ? You are a human being, answer us !
I want to tell how I was born and how the first indications of a genius
were spotted in me. My father wanted me to be born first of January. He
calculated that the conception had to happen first of April. That day
he came to my mother with the proposal to make a child. She was teribbly
happy, because she had waited a long time for this moment. But my father
was in the mood of making jokes and couldn´t resist saying: April
fool. She was terribly offended and didn´t let him touch her
that day anymore. He got very angry, but it didn´t help. He had
to wait till next year
...I was born for the first time 14.October 1970.
...I was a premature.
... I was born 7 weeks to early.
My father got terribly angry, such that the midwife started to push me
back where I just had come out. But as it turned out, not there to where
I came from. My mother was shouting, a terrible chaos started. Until the
doctors found out what happened and they gave her quite a portion of englis
salt. She got diarrea and thats how I was born the second time on
17 of December. My father shouted You cant call this a birth.
Thats not a human being yet. Either he will be pushed back or else
put in the incubator. So I was put in the incubator.
...I spent 6 weeks in the incubator.
...My real birthday is the first of December.
...I have the same astrological sign: Saggitarius.
After 2 weeks they let me out of the incubator.
That happened precisely on the first of January.
Thats how I was born for the third time and my birthday is indeed
celebrated on first of January.
I was born several times. That was a long time ago around 1905 in St.
I imagine I am my brother.
I have a moustacho. And I am rich.
I dress up in my best clothers and go to theather.
I mingle with important people.
And I say:
Every man should wear a moustacho.
I dont beg for money. I has just have it.
Omnia in numeris sita sunt.
(Everything is hidden in numbers)
1. It used to be that the numerical series began with 2
2. One is not a number. One is the first and sole perfection.
3. The first quantity, the first number, and the first departure ....from
perfection is 2. (according to Pythagoras)
4. Let us imagine that One is the first number.
5. The new One is subject to the law of common numbers.
6. The law of common numbers is the law of masses.
7. The law of singles ones is false, there is no such law. There ...is
only the law of masses.
8. The law of large and small numbers is the same. The ...difference is
9. The human being and the word and the number are subject ...to one and
the same law.
10. One person thinks logically, many think fluidly.
11. I am One, but I think fluidly.
HEAR & SEE
I took care not to close my ears.
Everybody closed his ears, just me not.
And thats why I am the only one, who heard everything.
I also didnt a piece of cloth in front of my eyes, like all the
others did. And thats why I have seen everything.
I am the only one who saw and heard everything.
But unfortunately I didnt understand anything of it.
I cant even remember what Ive seen and heard.
Let us begin.
Lets sit in a circle.
The door of knowledge I will open for everybody.
Science makes comparable what is uncomparable.
Science reduces everything to abstract amounts.
Science is nothing without numbers.
Lets start with the numbers.
The 3 looks like a heart which is cut in halves.
Do you agree
Shave off your moustachos!
Shave off your oxsel hair.
You are not goats, you are not cats.
Youre not mushrooms, that you stand around with hats!
All, ladys! Pull off your hats a little!
All, my beauties! Pull off your skirts!
Well now, you, baby, sit down on top of me.
Girls, cut off your hair!
You are not zebras that you around with tails.
You fattish girls! Invite us for holidays.
SEVEN OR EIGHT
An amazing thing happened to me:
I suddenly forgot which came first, seven or eight.
I went to my neighbours wife and asked her, what she thought about it.
I was really amazed when she told me, that she too couldnt remember
the counting sequence. She remembered one, two, three, four, five, and
six, but she forgot what came after that. We went into the shop down at
the corner and asked the cashier. The cashier smiled sadly and said: I
think seven comes after eight in those cases when eight comes after seven.
We thanked the cashier and ran joyfully out of the shop. But then thinking
about her words, we fell silent again, because her words turned to make
no sense. What to do ? We went into the park and counted trees. But after
we reached six, we stopped and argued. We argued for a long time, but
fortunately a little boy fell off a park bench and broke both jaws.
It is something if you say: Print in your memory what is happening
right in this moment. Example: One, two, three! Nothing happened!
I printed a moment in my memory in which nothing happened. I talked about
that with my neighbours wife. She liked ot very much and we spent the
whole day counting: One, two, three! We registered that nothing happened.
Please pay attention, that I was the creator of this original method to
print in your memory what is happening in our century; because a century
consists of moments.
Creat for yourself a pose and have the character to hold it out. I had
once the pose of an Indian, then the one of Sherlock Holmes, then the
one of a Yogi, then the one of an oil wrestler.
We say: thats me.
I give you the key
For you to say I.
How our grandmothers told us, I get the key when I find the flower mandrake,
which blossoms once a year. But Where grows that flower ?
It grows in the forest, under a tree growing upside down. Youre
walking thru the huge sleeping forest, but you dont find a single
tree, that grew upside down. If you go into the forest, first look out
of the window to see what weather it is.
I look out of the window and I see: there starts the road, there the open
field, and there stands the tree.
The sky turns upside down and falls on the earth, earth and water fly
up in the sky. If you see this, then you discover the flower blossoming
in your chest. I say: This is the end of the old world, I have seen
a new world.
When I see somebody I want to hit him in the face.
Its such a pleasure to hit somebody in the face.
I sit at home in my room doing nothing. Somebody drops in to see me. He
knocks on the door. I say: Come in. He comes in and says:
Hello. Nice that I caught you at home. I offer him a cup of
tea. The guest accepts, sits down at the table, drinks the tea, and starts
talking about something. I act as if I am listening to him with great
interest, nod my head, ooh and aah, raise my eyes in surprise, and laugh.
The guest, flattered by my attention, lets himself go more and more. I
calmly fill his cup with boiling water and splash the water in his face.
He jumps up screaming.
I say: I don´t have anymore kind feelings in my heart.
Get out !
In 1918 they changed the calendar because of the revolution. They put
the year 13 days ahead, so imagine, if I really was born on 17 of December,
I turned out to be born on 30 of December, which is almost first of January,
but not completely. Or you could say I was born 14 of January, when I
left the incubator. Which leaves you with four birthdates. If you add
the birthdate numbers you can find out the Life Lesson Number which rules
Which of the four birthdates do you take ?
Can you call it a birth, when you are still in the incubator ?
Do you take the calendar before or after the revolution ?
Can you trust your parents about the things they told you about your birth
SUGAR & SALT
I will now begin to kick up my feet,
I will walk over the plank and I will not tremble,
I will run along the edge and I will not fall.
I eat salt, and you sugar.
I have my vegetable gardens and orchards.
My goat is greezing in my garden.
A fur hat lies in my storage chest.
I´ll do it my way.
You are just a pint of smoke to me.
If you translate the letters of my name into numbers, you can find out
that my Soul Number could be 11. Depends how you count.
e-5 i-9 o-6 i-9 a-1 e-5 a-1 i-9 a-1 a-1 i-9 a-1 a-1 is 58,
5 and 8 is 13, 1 and 3 is 4, 4 is not 11.
About 11 as the Soul Number it says:
You have been on the spiritual path for a long time, probably for
more than one incarnation. Through spiritual evolution you have learned
much of the mysteries of life and death.
I changed my name several times: Sardan, Dandan, Zatocnik, Harmonius,
Professor K.J.Schusterling, Trubockin, Toporyskin, Vinny Vaseline, Limbo
Which name to choose to find out my Soul Number ?
Do you use the latin alfabet or the cyrillic ?
You can think it´s a joke, but before you I was in love really only
once. That was with Esther - translated into Russian, The Star. I loved
her for seven years. For me she was not only the woman I loved, but something
that entered into all my thoughts and actions. I didnt talk with
Esther in Russian, and I wrote her name in Latin letters. Then I made
a monogram out of them and thats what came out of it:
I called it the
window thru which I looked at the sky and see a star. The star I called
paradise, but one which is very far away.
You see me thru the window:
You see me in
I am a short man. I would do anything if only could be a little
Suddenly I see a witch standing in front of me.
What do you want ? the witch asks.
I stand there, but I am so frightened that I cant say anything.
Well ? says the witch.
I stand there and say nothing.
The witch disappears.
I start crying and biting my nails.
My father has fun with names.
He called me after an Indonesian, anti-colonial, muslim movement:
He liked their song.
Hade, goreng, nasip urang sarerea, di jaman pancaroba
(Good, bad, our fate altogther, in this time of transition)
Ulah ngalajur nafsu, kuduh penkuh kuat iman,
nandang nandang nu Kawasa
(Dont follow the evil, we have to be solid and strong,
follow Gods will)
Ditangtayungan Belanda Japan yang ta berbudi
(Holland and Japan are the ones to be blamed)
What others manage with a huge effort, I manage easily. I can even fly.
But I wont tell about it, because you dont believe it anyway.
This is what I thought out yesterday:
Its about a magician who lives in our time and does not do miracles.
He knows he is a miracle man and can do any miracle he wants, but he doesnt
do it. They move him out of his appartment. He knows he only would have
to wave his figure and he could keep his appartment, but he doesnt
do it. He moves humbly out of his appartment and lives outside of town
in a barn. Hes able to turn the barn into a beautiful brick house,
but he doesnt do that. He goes on living in the barn and in the
end he dies without having done one miracle in his whole life.